Famillies and friends will be hugely affected by deaths, particularly sudden deaths and there are various organisations that can help them.
There are a number of people who have been searching for details of the cyclist’s, maybe they could be friends and family.
When I had my first major bereavement I didn’t have any help at all as I was too young and there was little around at the time and it did affect me as I bottled things up.
By the time I had my next ‘super bereavement’, more information and help was around so I made the most of it. I think what helped me mostwere books from the library, CRUSE and their booklets, even the Samaritans at one point. I even used anonymous bereavement forums. I generally ended up talking to strangers than people I know. You just don’t feel like burdening them and often they don’t understand so there is no point. I even got to the point when I visited the doctor and that was one of the best things I did, and they put me on a free counselling course. Yes, I think I took EVERYTHING going! And two years later, I survived. And I am ok. Things are different but there have been good things that came of it, one of it was me becoming a cyclist and marathon runner. Sport was a great help.
It was different to talk to friends although some may have experienced bereavement there are ‘various kinds of bereavement’ and experiences are different. And of course, in the UK, we ‘don’t tend to talk about those things’ which is a shame because death is part of life and we have to learn about it and find ways to cope. Things will have changed, but this is a new chapter of one’s life, it will never be the same again. It will different.
It is hard at work as ‘office people’ tend to ‘carry on as normal’ joking away and you ‘are not really in the mood’ and in this country, people ‘don’t wear black for morning’ although there is nothing stopping you.
Also in this country it is hard to get compassionate leave as it is ‘discretionary’ and you feel you are expected to ‘get over it’ in a few days. It is very unnatural. I have never felt comfortable about this. It can also be difficult to talk about it at work for obvious reasons but sometimes work can be a way to take one’s mind off things. I ended up moving departments and then changing jobs, so I that I didn’t have constant reminders.
I recommend specialist bereavement help and CRUSE can be a good starting point. I also recommend contacting Roadpeace.
Here is an excerpt from the Met Police website:-
“When tragedy strikes, it is important to be able to find help and support. This is why the Police and Support Services have compiled this list to hopefully assist during the difficult times following your loss. The Police and Support Services offer their sincere condolences. There are in existence numerous organisations, each dealing with a different specialist area – they may all prove of help to you, depending on what help or information you require at a specific time.
This list is not exhaustive. There are many other organisations available to support victims. The MPS is not endorsing these organisations.
Should you wish to contact the Metropolitan Police Family Liaison Advisory Team, with regards to the information contained in this website, please email: firstname.lastname@example.org The MPS is not responsible for the content of external internet sites.
* A Different Journey
* ASSIST Trauma Care
* Bereaved Parents Network
* CADD – Campaign against Drinking and Driving
* Church of England
* Citizens Advice Bureau
* Cruse Bereavement Care
* Families United
* Jewish Bereavement Counselling Service
* National Association of Widows and Widowers
* National Victims Association
* Salvation Army
* SAMM – Support after Murder and Manslaughter
* SCARD – Support & Care After Road Death and Injury
* The Child Bereavement Trust
* The Child Death Helpline
* The Compassionate Friends
* The Way Foundation [widowed and young]
* Victim Support
* Victims’ Voice
* Winston’s Wish